ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize