I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
