SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
