i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think i have two assholes
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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