awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
