I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
