Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
