You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
