dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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