Its about making memories worth repressing
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
