Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
