you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize