Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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