He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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