the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
