i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
