I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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