The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize