You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
