Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
