i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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