My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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