Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
