There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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