i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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