If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize