Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
