two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
