real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
