Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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