Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
