My brain says no but my pants say off.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
