Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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