you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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