guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Never let your siblings swipe right.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
