You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He has the fingertips of a God
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
