All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
