the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize