So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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