you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
