The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
