I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
