WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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