that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
