): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
