While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
birth control should be required to get into college
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
