Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
