Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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