There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize