8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
