I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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