My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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