I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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