Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
