Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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