we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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