Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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