Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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