Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
