The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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