so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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