So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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